Being a model

I was an ugly kid. I’m not kidding. I had red hair (a curse for a child) that I kept chopped into a short boyish cut because it closely resembled an afro. I had freckles, braces, and thick brown ugly glasses. Throw in being a total tom boy, a bit on the nerdy side, and all of my clothes were second hand. It doesn’t do much for the self-esteem.

I grew up knowing I was smart and not pretty. I was fine with it. It served me well in many aspects in my life. However, I have never been fully comfortable with my looks. I think many people feel this way and struggle being comfortable in our own bodies. I am forever a work in progress and as I grow older I am really trying to work on accepting my body and being comfortable in my own skin.

This body has served me well. It has carried me around the world. I have danced, I have hiked, I have swam, I have created and nourished another human being. I do love my body. I also still catch a twinge of self consciousness when put in front of a camera. I don’t know how to act. I don’t know how to “be” pretty the way some women seem to just instinctly know.

A photographer friend of mine, Tom Styrkowicz, is working on a new project. It is called the RedHead Experiment. He asked if he could photograph me for the project. I agreed. I knew it would be awkward for me simply because I feel awkward being in front of the camera. Tom always has a way of making a person feel comfortable though.

I actually had a great time. We had fans blowing and it was easier to be natural when I knew the focus was more on my hair. As a result, we ended up with some great shots, and he chose this one as his cover image!

I’m sure being comfortable and accepting of my physical appearance will be a lifetime pursuit, but moments like these make it a little easier (and fun)!

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About strokeofred

I am from Kansas and I have traveled all over the world. I am an artist, and I have a business brain. I love skirts and tennis shoes. I like to get dirty and ride motorcycles. I am sensitive and I can be mean. I love nature, and believe in protecting it. I love to laugh, and feel better after a good cry. I can be stubborn and impatient. I am constantly growing. I am open and free. I look to be inspired and love to inspire. I play guitar and secretly want to play drums. I have a puppy that brings me great joy. I love hugs, cuddling, holding hands...and wrestling. I love the mountains and the beach. I have to make a pilgrimage to the ocean at least twice a year to balance myself. I believe in balance in all things. Traveling is a passion, and meeting interesting people from all over the world is the perk! I have small town values, and big city dreams. I love beer, hate wine. I believe that what you put out comes back. I believe and live by the belief of treating others like you want to be treated. I enjoy stimulating conversation, and a good sense of humor. Caffeine is my drug of choice, and coffee over chess or good conversation is my luxury. I am strong but sometimes feel small. I strive to be my authentic me.
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